19`o2`2oo9

hmmx. this is the post entry i promised you when i am feeling better.
yup. thanks for waking me up from my delusions.
obviously i know my delusions arent nicely in place.
if it is so.. i would not be so affected by anything..
i would also not be affected by your sudden comment on my change in status!
and stared to tell you everything and chatted with you till i cried.
i know that i have been bottling up everything myself, putting on a brave front.
perhaps, others just cant see through. or, maybe they saw through it and cant bear to see me suffer when they took away it.
i know what is going on. and i just keep escaping from it. i understand that it was just an useless shield of mine. no point of deceiving myself how strong and bullet proof the shield was when it actually exposed me to more dangers behind.
this is a point i am aware of even without you telling me.
no one dared to tear through my delusions and tell me that i was dreaming, avoiding.
it felt better, true. but the moment of waking up was terrible.
i dare not face the facts. so i often thought of living in my own world of delusions where i felt the powers so tangible in my hands.
this is how lousy i am. really. i felt better after that. thanks for telling me and consoling me! =)
you were great... hahas.

`you taught me how to be braver___

went through 3 different things today!
hmmx. for those who consoled me via sms..
hmmx. just now just kinda no mood to reply.
not to make you all worry la. thanks for showing me how important i am to you all!
you were willing to take time off to send me a message yet i didnt reply! sorry!
i am okay le lahx! my friend just bloodily pull me out from all sorts of delusions i had! =)

`you should know who you are___