13`o2`2oo9

super boring day!
i finished the book 3 of twilight series...
just finished eclipse.. now going to breaking dawn.
hope there is a perfect ending for everything..
an ending that i hoped and wished for. as if it was for myself
people will often go to any length to delude themseves, they will pay any price for it.
read it some where in the book.
i believed that! start to think if i am one of them.
or i am already always doing that sub-conciously?
hmmx. things changed. but sometimes, i just refused to see the change.
refused to ancknowledge that change.
deluding, decieving or avoiding?
bet it is the same anyway.
only that delusion sounds so much nicer..
haix. i am also not very sure! but sometimes.. life is like that.
not everything can be the way we want it to be.
things that happen happens.. but when you really do not want things to proceed in a way that they already proceeded, you decieve yourself, start to bury yourself in your own world.
you live in delusion before you knew anything!
living in delusion is always better. you lived in your own world.
you had the whole sky to admire. you had all the air belonging to you!
freedom! free of trouble, free from sadness.
things are always predictable, expected.
isnt this the best feeling that one can get? the feeling that you grasped in your hand.
there isnt any uncertainties. you rule your world. you will know how bad the thing can be, everything is within your control. i felt the power in me!
suddenly so tangible. i really meant it.
under some circumstances. delusion is the best solution for everything.
it will be hard for one to heal, for one to recover after they'd found out that what they hold on to was just delusions. but at least, you were once happy living in that delusion!
you found your power in the delusion!
control to everything had never been so tangible in your hand.
this all could hardly be described in words.

`living in delusion___